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A Comic as Lovely as a Tree
}} Durkon's hidden fear is about to be tested to the limit. And no, it's not of forest monsters. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶ * Thor ◀ ▶ * Two Dwarves Transcript A sign reads "Druids Local 303 welcomes you to Wooden Forest" Durkon: May Thor protect me soul as I journey into the heart o' darkness. Haley: Durkon, don't tell me you're scared of a few forest monsters. Durkon: Na tha monsters, lass. Something far more sinister: Durkon: Tha trees! Haley: You're kidding. Durkon: Nay! They may look all peacef'l, but they be out ta get us dwarves. Durkon: I ne'er saw one 'til I be a man, leavin' the dwarven tunnels fer good, but I know they be Evil. Durkon: Haven't ye ever thought aboot how suspicious it be tha trees can always be found in such large groups? Cut to Thor in a cloud striking a tree with a lightning bolt. Durkon (off-panel): And why else would me patron, Thor, strike down so many each year with his mighty lightnin' if they weren't Evil? Thor: Gotcha! Flashback to the Dwarven Lands where two dwarves battle a tree root. Durkon (inset): Back in the homelands, they always be encroachin' on our territory. Dwarf #1: Captain, roots are breaching our perimeter in Tunnels F, Q, and V. Dwarf #2: If I don't make it, tell my wife I love her. Haley: That's ridiculous. Why would anyone be scared of a tree? Durkon: Think about it, lass. Durkon: Just one tree has Colossal size, natural armor, damage reduction, hundreds o' hit points, and enough limbs ta make a dozen or more attacks per round. Roy: Durkon, trees can't MOVE. Durkon: Can't they move, lad? Or is it just tha they move so slow, we cannae see them sneakin' up on us? Roy: So now trees are some kind of stealthy assassin?? Durkon: Gods, yes, man. It's like yer people always are sayin': Durkon: "If a tree kills alone in the forest, does it make a sound?" D&D Context * Durkon has a pretty good grasp of how trees are represented in game. Colossal is a specific size category in the game. Trivia * The "Druids Local 303", a reference to workers unions, provides the name of this location: Wooden Forest. * In the first panel Durkon references the 1899 Joseph Conrad novella, Heart of Darnkess, which was famously adapted into Francis Ford Coppola's 1979 film Apocalypse Now. * The title is a reference to the famous poem "Trees", which begins with the lines: "I think that I shall never see / A poem lovely as a tree." * This is the first comic where Durkon reveals his fear of trees. * In the final panel Durkon corrupts the famous philosophical thought exeriment, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" External links * 150}} View the comic * link|961214}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Lightning Bolt Category:Bandits of Wooden Forest